Remembering together

Madeleine’s Blog

December 29, 2013

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

It was a very moving day yesterday.

I am struggling to describe how it was, but I can tell you that I went away profoundly touched and impacted by what I saw and heard.

Right from the beginning of the service, we heard that this time was to be a celebration of Madeleine's life, and the effect of that life on all of us. Yes, there were tears. But there was so much more than that.

For now, I will just post the video slideshow that contains so many wonderful photos from Madeleine's life (set to music). Thank you to all of you who sent photos, many of which we were able to include in the following video...

Video Slideshow (click here)

In the upcoming days, I will update this page with more video taken from the service, including the sharing by her parents, coach Mark Stanley, and others.

Thank you again for joining with us yesterday. It was deeply touching to be surrounded by so many people who have been a part of our lives over the years.

Join with us on December 28th

Madeleine’s Blog

December 18, 2013 

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Thank you for all of your outpouring of support and love toward our family over these past few days. You have been such a blessing in so many ways.

We would love to have you join with us for a memorial service celebrating Madeleine's life:

Saturday, December 28th at 2:00 pm at Santa Rosa Bible Church (4575 Badger Rd, Santa Rosa). 

Between now and then, we are trying to collect  photographs of Madeleine for her family. Some of you may have pictures of Madeleine that her family has not seen, but would love to have. Perhaps you have pictures from swimming, or swim teaching, or the gym, etc. If so, please email your photo to thedanfordbontacoalition@gmail.com as an attachment along with any information about the photo that you have (who is pictured, date, etc). Thank you for your help with this.

The family has established a scholarship fund in Madeleine's name for the Montgomery High School swim team, which was one of Madeleine's passions. (Contributions can be sent to a special account set up for this purpose at the Redwood Credit Union, account #431887.) If desired, contributions can also be made to the Make A Wish Foundation - an organization that was a particular blessing to Madeleine and her family during her fight against cancer.

The obituary for Madeleine published in the Press Democrat on Sunday, December 22 may be viewed by clicking here.

One of the many things Madeleine brought to us through her battle is an appreciation for life, for family, and for all the good things that really do surround us - if we would only have eyes to see. May God comfort us in our loss, and grant us His grace during this Christmas season.

At peace

Madeleine’s Blog

December 15, 2013 

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

We didn't know when today began that this would be the last day Madeleine would be with us. She was growing weaker - that was very evident. But she hung on to see a few visitors in the morning, and then had a visit from the nurse that lasted until after noon. A few minutes before 2 pm, surrounded by her family and at peace, she breathed her last.

While my heart would have chosen to keep her here, I know that she is now in a place where there is no more pain, fear, or disappointment. I know that she is with God, and that He is taking far better care of her than I ever could.

There is so much I could say about Madeleine and my admiration for her relentless pursuit of life in the midst of a battle she did not choose. Already the posts on Facebook and comments on this blog are saying more than I have the strength to write about tonight.

While I have observed first-hand the evil brought by this disease, I have also seen the mercy of God revealed in the goodness of our community, the kindness of friends and even strangers, and the strength of the love of family. I can only trust that as we go through the days ahead, this same mercy will surround us and help us through.

As always, thank you for your prayers for Madeleine and for her family. We so appreciate your expressions of love and care.

Signs of Christmas

Madeleine’s Blog

December 14, 2013 

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Thank you for the outpouring of love we have received from everyone. We have had so many offers of practical help, along with gifts and food, and many of you have had an opportunity to come by to visit Madeleine and the family. The sense of love and support is palpable in this house. 

The house is beginning to look like Christmas, and Madeleine is surrounded by the signs of it. With the help of friends, our family tree (above, on the left) was decorated for us by Lani, and the stockings were hung. Madeleine's tree (on the right) is in view of her bed and was decorated by Amber, Devon, and Chelsea.

Madeleine is increasingly tired with all that she has to fight through physically, so we are moving into the phase of having to limit visits quite a bit more just to conserve her energy. (Calling - or texting - before a visit is a good idea, and be prepared that there may be times when we have to turn you away at the door - even though we would love to welcome you in.) Having said that, it is a blessing to have so many friends and well wishers.

Pictured to the right are just a few of the things that have been surrounding Madeleine... 

Snoopy dogs (one for each member of the family - from Lucy)...

Gorgeous flowers (from Ted)...

Miniature lit-up houses (that used to be displayed on the mantle when Madeleine's grandfather was a boy)...

A Christmas reindeer (from Shelby & Leesa)...

A little gingerbread house (from Sophie, whom Madeleine used to babysit)... 

And of course, Madeleine with Chloe. :)

There are many more things than can be displayed in these few pictures, and some of the most important can't be captured in a photograph. Thank you all for your prayers and kindness. We are all tired, but are so grateful to feel the support of friends.

Friends :)

Madeleine’s Blog

December 11, 2013 

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Yesterday was a tough day. Actually, each day is tough right now, but there are also some bright spots.

Friends and family (and even some of Madeleine's former teachers) have been stopping by to visit and express their love to Madeleine and her family. There are tears of love, as well as laughter over shared stories from the past, and lots of hugs all around.

Madeleine with her good friend, Ted

We are all tired, but we're also grateful today for friends, and for being surrounded by love and care.

Hard news - but surrounded by love

Madeleine’s Blog

December 10, 2013

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Madeleine had her scans done yesterday afternoon, and the results came surprisingly quickly. Our local oncologist (Dr. Andersen) came by the house after he got off work to personally give Madeleine and her family the news. He sat on the edge of Madeleine's bed and uttered the words that we have for some time been hoping not to hear: that the cancer had spread significantly throughout her liver...that she has some small blood clots in her lungs that are causing her most recent breathing difficulties...that the most recent clinical trial drugs appeared to work only for a short time...and that there were no more treatment options available that would be helpful to Madeleine, especially in her weakened state. His recommendation was that we meet with Hospice in order to get the kind of assistance we will need in these coming days. All of this difficult news was delivered with genuine concern and tenderness - we have been through a lot with this doctor, and he has been so helpful every step of the way. 

When the doctor left, the reality of the news hit, and the crying together as a family began. It was actually a bittersweet time - with the bitterness of the reality of the depth of this pain, and yet at the same time there was a beauty in the depth of the love expressed between each member of the family. It is hard to describe, but I will never forget it. 

And so, we ask your prayers for Madeleine and for the family at this time. We made arrangements today to have help from Hospice in overseeing her care. In recent weeks, Madeleine has become significantly weaker and is now needing oxygen at times throughout the day. She is often uncomfortable, but not in significant pain at this point. She tires quite easily and so can only handle short visits, but has been blessed by people's expressions of love.

Chloe - making herself at home on Madeleine's bed :)

A special treat tonight:
Madeleine's friend, Devon, brought her tiny dog Chloe over to spend the night on Madeleine's bed and keep her company (at Madeleine's request). Hopefully, they will both get some good sleep tonight :)

Thank you again for your continued prayers, and thanks to those who have been bringing meals, sending notes, and helping to support the family during this time.