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Madeleine’s Blog 

July 6, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

It is so nice to be home, sleeping in our own beds! We drove back from Riverside on the 4th of July, and got home in the late afternoon. While the chemo treatment wasn't easy (and it was hard to be away from home again), it seems like Madeleine did a little better with the treatment overall this time. She was much more at peace throughout the process, in part because she understands a little better about what to expect, and she also knows what to ask for and what to avoid.

Now that she is home, Madeleine has been taking it easy and trying to regain her strength and appetite. She still fatigues easily, and her blood counts are down a bit (this is an expected result of therapy) -- so she has to rest often and avoid being around anyone who might be sick.

She is scheduled to have a PET scan on July 20th, and that will give the best indication of the effect this treatment is having on the melanoma. We are praying that the chemo will stop the melanoma, and that the immune therapy will strengthen her body's own ability to fight off the cancer as well. The result of the scan will determine whether to continue the same therapy or to change to a different treatment. (One way or another, she is scheduled to go down to Riverside for another week on July 30th.)

So, during these next weeks she will be working on regaining her strength and enjoying summer. Thank you all for your prayers and concern.

Riverside - thanks everyone!

Madeleine’s Blog

July 1, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

I am sitting here watching Madeleine get some much-needed rest.  She had a fever (and ice packs to help) again last night, but it was better than the night before. As the week goes on, more tiredness and other symptoms tend to set in, but the good news is that we are over half-way through this stay, and we will be able to celebrate heading for home again on the 4^th of July.

During these long hours at the hospital, I have had some time to think about the many people who have gone out of their way to help make our life a little easier over these past months…Honestly, I don't know what we would have done without all of the kindness we have encountered.

I am so thankful for the many people from our church (“The Cove” Presbyterian), and also fellow teachers, neighbors, and friends who have been making and bringing home-cooked meals for our family every week for the past several months (!). How can we say thank you enough? (And a special thank you to our friend Kirsten who organized so much of that). I can’t tell you how comforting and helpful those meals have been for us as a family during this time.

When we have been weary from long, daily appointments and the ups and downs of this season, we are so thankful for the various groups from the school community where I teach who pooled together to give us gift cards to restaurants, as well as gift cards to stores that have delicious already-prepared meals (such as Olivers, Whole Foods, and Pacific Market). What thoughtful, practical gifts people have given. 

There have been friends who have run errands, weeded our garden, baked us cookies, packed up special goodie bags for chemo trips, taken my place during swim lessons, and helped accompany Madeleine during her chemo or radiation appointments. There have been fellow-teachers and assistants who have helped me out in my classroom during the intense times of these past months. There have been teachers at Montgomery who have given Madeleine extra grace on assignments, offered encouragement and “pulled for her,” or who even helped by doing extra tutoring when she wasn’t well enough to make it to class. There have been employers who have graciously given time off, as well as extra grace for some of the challenges we have had to face during these times. And there were other friends (from David’s old office) who, when they found out there was no Wi-fi at the hospital in Riverside, loaned Madeleine a Wi-fi equipped laptop and I-Pad, and then gave her an I-Pad as a gift when she returned home from her first round at Riverside. Finally, there have been family and extended family who have helped out as well -- I want to especially thank my sister (and her family for encouraging her in this) for all that she has done to support us. 

At the gym where Madeleine works, and where we've been members for years (Montecito Heights Health & Racquet Club), they even did a "Spin-a-Thon" yesterday in order to support Madeleine. Thank you to Robert and Cindy for organizing that; to the gym for agreeing to host it; and to everyone who participated!

Finally, there have been countless people who are praying for us and for Madeleine. Some of these are people we know well, others are friends of friends, some are a part of the church we attend and others are members of other church groups---or are people we may never meet. Thank you for those ongoing prayers! (Thank you also to the pastor and elders of City Life Fellowship who came over to our house and prayed with Madeleine the day before we first went down to Riverside for treatment.)

While this has been a difficult season, these are the things that have made it more bearable. Thanks so much to all of you.

Riverside - more encouragement through people

Madeleine’s Blog

June 29, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Fellow cancer-battling family

Madeleine had a pretty restful night last night (for being in a hospital), and then started the heavy chemo drugs again this morning. The family who we visited with last night (the one with the dad who is fighting leukemia - see adjacent picture from their blog) came by with a wonderful boxed gift that they had put together for Madeleine -- filled with a beautiful journal and other items (including "swim" stickers and more). What a blessing they have been to us already -- they are always asking if they can do anything to help us, and yet here they are fighting their own cancer battle. 

Madeleine during chemo with therapy dog

We also had a visit from a volunteer who does “pet therapy” every week here at the hospital. She brought her specially-trained dog (among other things, these dogs are required to be bathed the morning of their hospital visit), and the dog snuggled right in and fell asleep after a while as Madeleine was petting her. As you many of you know, Madeleine misses her own pets, and is far from home, so this is especially appreciated.

Today, we were blessed to have more nurses who gave spiritual encouragement along with their excellent, caring nursing. Our nurse for the daytime hours encouraged her with many things, among them saying, "I want you to think about how you would never know God as your Healer unless you had the need to be healed. He wants you to know Him as your Healer." Then the evening nurse came and encouraged her similarly saying that this is a good time to get closer to God, and to use the quiet time and the freedom from responsibilities toward that purpose. 

This has definitely been a different visit so far with all the encouragement that we have gotten. The physical challenges of the chemo are definitely there -- tonight Madeleine had a 103+ fever, along with the shakes, and had to have ice packs in her armpits and elsewhere --- but there is more of a spiritual nurturing that is going on as well that is absolutely amazing to watch. There is a richness in the people who are here alongside her (and us), and that richness is spilling over and touching us. 

When she isn't petting dogs, talking with nurses and others, having her vitals checked and more medications added, texting, or walking around with her ever-present IV pole, Madeleine has been passing the time by playing "Words with Friends" with her mom (the joke is that her mom & aunt have to work together, and Madeleine has to be on heavy medication, in order for her mom to win!). Time for bed - thanks for your prayers and messages - we appreciate all of you.

Riverside - Round 2 - encouragement from people

Madeleine’s Blog

June 28, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Time has flown by, and here we are - back in Riverside again for round #2 of Madeleine's chemo treatment. During this past week or so, Madeleine's energy and appetite have returned - which has been great to see. To be honest, it was a little hard to make the drive down again yesterday, knowing what was ahead of us with the chemo. But it seems like today has gone even better than expected.

After arriving here last night, we headed straight to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner (just like we did last time)...and then we actually ate there again for lunch today. This can now officially be called a tradition for us. It is fun to enjoy all the great-tasting food knowing that the desire for food (at least for Madeleine) will be diminishing once the chemo starts.

After lunch, Madeleine was admitted to the hospital and had her central line put in again. In general, everything this time has been going a lot more smoothly. Madeleine is much more calm about everything because she has a better idea about how the procedures go and what to expect.

We also met some folks who helped make today a little better too. One of them was the technician who took Madeleine in to get her central line. He was an older man who had wisdom and care for Madeleine that was really exceptional. Outside the surgery area, he spent quite a bit of time encouraging her about the whole situation of her cancer and about the process she was in. Then, he prayed with her just before the procedure. After the central line was put in, Madeleine was brought up to her room and all the IV fluids were started to get her well-hydrated before tomorrow morning's chemo begins.

While we were in the room, another patient (and his wife and 15-year-old daughter) came by to visit with us in our room. We had met them the last time (the man is battling leukemia), and he has been in the hospital here for seven weeks now (!). He had lots of things to share (and good perspective too), and we visited with them for about an hour - laughing about the hospital food, comparing notes on favorite nurses, and hearing how he has battled the fear that comes with a difficult cancer diagnosis:

I only allow myself to experience the fear a few minutes, and then I make myself put the fear out of my mind.

And also some advice he got from an older, experienced nurse about how to get through this:

You can only feel sorry for yourself for so long, and then you need to face it. You can face it using either your faith, or your will to live ~ but hopefully you have both. Grab onto those as tightly as you can and fight.

Hearing these things from someone who is also fighting cancer was so meaningful. It was like getting much-needed medicine for your soul before beginning this next phase of the fight.


We are so thankful for how today has gone, and hopefully tomorrow will go well too. It is now time to get some rest before the first chemotherapy starts tomorrow morning at 5:30. Thanks for your continued prayers for Madeleine.

Round 1 done - Back home!

Madeleine’s Blog

June 15, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Sorry for the delay in posting - we all needed a few days to recover! On Tuesday, Madeleine received the last of her chemo for this round and then checked out of the hospital. We spent the night there in Riverside and then drove home the next day.

Home at last!

It was so good to get home on Wednesday evening! Her dad (along with the help of some friends) had fixed up a new bed and futon in her room, which was wonderful to come home to. Another friend had put together a beautiful photo album of Madeleine's graduation. People have been such a great encouragement to us during this time.

Madeleine has been resting a lot  since she got home (fatigue is definitely one of the side-effects of this treatment), but is getting a little stronger each day. Her appetite is slowly coming back as well. Today, she met with her local oncologist and he was very pleased with how well she is doing.

For now, she just needs to get stronger and recover from the chemo during these next few weeks. She is able to get together with friends, but has to watch her energy level and has to steer clear of people who are sick (because her blood counts may be down a little from the chemo). Her next treatment in Riverside will be on June 28th, so she will be looking to enjoy these weeks before heading back down south.

Riverside - day 3 and 4

Madeleine’s Blog

June 10, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Biochemo weapons hanging on
Madeleine's ever-present IV pole

Madeleine has been doing pretty well with this week of biochemo - even though there have been some challenges along the way. The first night she had the shakes and then very low blood pressure, and then last night they had to "ice" her to keep her medication-induced fever down.

We are grateful, however, that she has so far been able to avoid the dangerous side effects that this rigorous treatment can cause (which is the reason this medication combination is only given in a hospital intensive care setting). For someone as active as Madeleine, this means that the days and nights are quite long, with frequent interruptions for monitoring, medications, and more.

Yesterday, a family friend (Tom) made the drive from San Diego to visit her - it was so nice to hear his laughter and to have another familiar face at the hospital. 

The hospital here doesn't have internet or a wide selection of TV channels, so she is so grateful that friends of her dad loaned her a laptop and an i-Pad that have built-in internet capability. This has made such a huge difference in making her stay here more pleasant. Other friends have loaned a selection of movies for her to watch - which is also appreciated. 

Madeleine continues to take walks up and down the hallways near her room (she isn't allowed to go to a different floor or outside) - in fact, the joke with her doctor is that he always has to go search for her when he comes to check on her!

Thank you for your prayers during this time - that the treatment will be effective and the side effects minimal. We are all looking forward to checking out of the hospital and heading home on Wednesday!

Riverside - day 2

Madeleine’s Blog

June 8, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

Madeleine started off today (Friday) by having a “central line” put into a vein in her neck so that the strong medications she is on could be given to her more safely and easily. She was (justifiably!) concerned about what this would be like, but managed to make it through the procedure. They began infusing the medications right after that, and she has done really quite well with it so far. They encourage you to get up and walk as much as possible, and she has enjoyed doing a lot of that – except for always having to drag an IV pole along with her!

View from her hospital room window

The nursing staff has been quite attentive, and they understand a lot about how this combination of medications will affect you. In the afternoon, Madeleine’s nurse came in and told her that in about a half hour she would probably start getting the “shakes” real bad – as well as a high fever. So when those symptoms showed up, there wasn’t as much fear because the symptoms were expected. Fortunately, Madeleine is doing much better tonight, and is resting as I write this.

One nice thing about this hospital stay is that they let you bring in whatever you want to eat – no restriction. So, we have been making runs for favorite foods from Safeway, frozen yogurt, smoothies, etc. The regular hospital food is available too, but for some unknown reason the favorites seem to win out. :)

It has been hard for Madeleine (and us) to be away from family and friends during this treatment, but we know that this is the best treatment for her right now, and that Riverside is where they offer it. One thing that has been very helpful is that Kaiser actually covers the cost of our transportation, hotel, food, and gas for this treatment…not to mention the cost of the treatment itself. This is one of the things that helps make this just a little more bearable.

Thank you again for your prayers.