To be better again

Madeleine’s Blog

September 12, 2012

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Isaiah 41:10

We got word of the scan results this afternoon. There is definite good news - there are no new lesions anywhere, and the liver lesion has not grown (we are so thankful for this news!). On the other hand, there are two lymph nodes that appear to have grown some since the last scan (and the liver lesion is still present). This means that the battle is still fully on!

Shortly after getting the results, Madeleine wrote the following poem to express some of what she was feeling in the moment:

To be better again

Always trying to break me down

Yet you will hardly find me with a frown

Battling and fighting every day

"To be better again" is what I pray

Flooded with the emotions I face

Each obstacle I learn to embrace

Only making me stronger

As the journey continues on - even longer

There is no pretending

It feels like it is never-ending

Constantly pulling me at my seams

Trying to destroy my hopes & dreams

Being a doctor and a wife

Keeping me fighting for my life

This journey has many things I never knew

Things I never imagined I could go through

I know my life is in the hands of God

So I listen to the doctors & just nod

Angry that the results weren't what I wanted to hear

Hoping the battle's end was coming near

I take a deep breath and sigh

Keep asking myself why

Then I remember this is cancer

And there is never a straight-forward answer

So then I raise my head high

And remind myself there's no need to cry

Some day I will be living the life of my dreams

And cancer will no longer be tearing me at my seams

I will be a doctor and a wife

And I will have so much meaning for my life

But for now I will take it day by day

And "to be better again" I will once more pray

"Thanks to everyone who continues to give me strength, support, encouragement, smiles, laughs, and hugs! I couldn't make it without all of you. Finding out my next treatment tomorrow." -- Madeleine