Wednesday, September 12, 2012

To be better again

Madeleine’s Blog

September 12, 2012
So do not fear, for I am with you
Do not be dismayed, for I am your God
I will strengthen you and help you
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Isaiah 41:10

We got word of the scan results this afternoon. There is definite good news - there are no new lesions anywhere, and the liver lesion has not grown (we are so thankful for this news!). On the other hand, there are two lymph nodes that appear to have grown some since the last scan (and the liver lesion is still present). This means that the battle is still fully on!

Shortly after getting the results, Madeleine wrote the following poem to express some of what she was feeling in the moment:

To be better again
Always trying to break me down
Yet you will hardly find me with a frown
Battling and fighting every day
"To be better again" is what I pray

Flooded with the emotions I face
Each obstacle I learn to embrace
Only making me stronger
As the journey continues on - even longer

There is no pretending
It feels like it is never-ending
Constantly pulling me at my seams
Trying to destroy my hopes & dreams

Being a doctor and a wife
Keeping me fighting for my life
This journey has many things I never knew
Things I never imagined I could go through

I know my life is in the hands of God
So I listen to the doctors & just nod
Angry that the results weren't what I wanted to hear
Hoping the battle's end was coming near

I take a deep breath and sigh
Keep asking myself why
Then I remember this is cancer
And there is never a straight-forward answer

So then I raise my head high
And remind myself there's no need to cry
Some day I will be living the life of my dreams
And cancer will no longer be tearing me at my seams

I will be a doctor and a wife
And I will have so much meaning for my life
But for now I will take it day by day
And "to be better again" I will once more pray

"Thanks to everyone who continues to give me strength, support, encouragement, smiles, laughs, and hugs! I couldn't make it without all of you. Finding out my next treatment tomorrow." -- Madeleine


Auntie Leslie said...

Hello Sweetie,

I am so incredibly proud that you are my niece! You are so strong and full of faith. And YOU WILL BE BETTER AGAIN....we all pray for that. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

Dave Cindy said...

Your poem is so moving and incredibly well. written! That's our girl! We are cheering you on every bit of the way. You are Amazing Strong & Inspiring we love you so much our Sweet Girl! XXXXXXOOOOOO